In this post, I will formulate my main ideas, which formed the basis of all my articles about personal development. You can familiarize yourself with it before deciding, whether my blog deserves your attention or not.
This article will be also useful to those, who regularly read my blog and want to get a structured selection of my main principles.
I thought that the website requires some introductory article, which will briefly describe the subjects of my articles. Therefore, I wrote this post.
Some of my beliefs may not reflect the generally accepted view of things. This is absolutely normal. Human society is replete with stereotypes, prejudices and false ideas, which hinder people’s development and achievement of happiness and harmony.
If the social structure and the outlook of each individual were based on correct principles, which would correspond to harmony and personal development reasons, then, the society, as a whole, would be happier.
However, not only innate qualities nor fate thwart people’s development, but their ideas and outlooks on life as well.
Therefore, any desire for personality development begins with the revaluation of values. For someone my conclusions might seem obvious and even banal. There is nothing wrong with that. I do not strain after originality. My mission is not to surprise you. My mission is to reveal the truth and help you.
The most valuable and wise truth is very simple.
But someone will disagree with my thoughts. In such a case, you can read the articles, which are based on these statements. These things may require some understanding, therefore, please, pay attention to them.
I am not going to shake the foundation of your worldview and criticize your values and ideals. I will simply try to destroy those ideas, which hinder your moving forward, your development and happiness. You will be glad to get rid of these ideas by yourself.
I myself have no doubt about the truth of my main suggestions. Not because I believe in them and like them. But because the experience of my positive metamorphoses, which happened to me recently, relies on them. I can deny the ideas, conclusions, formulas, but I cannot deny the experience.
I became happy, self-assured and disciplined. I got rid of the depression and I created this website. This is the better proof of my beliefs, than any words. Here are my 10 principles:
Principle 1 – Happiness Is The Goal Of Personal Development
While seeking after happiness, the personality moves away from suffering, anger, dissatisfaction, frustration, ignorance, envy, prejudice and depression.
The way to harmony and movement away from suffering – is the center of all my reasonings. I am not going to impose you any other purposes, except this one. I will not say that your goal is to earn as much money as possible, to become the most successful manager of your organization and to learn how to seduce women or attract men.
These things can serve only as tools for achieving happiness, and only with many reservations! They cannot serve as ultimate goals
Many people do not ask questions of this kind: Will meteorical career make them happy? Will career save them from dissatisfaction and internal contradictions?
My goal – human happiness and all other tasks in the personal development context can interest me only as long as they serve for happiness achievement. I am not talking about some fleeting pleasure, temporary satisfaction or transient pleasure. I mean some constant and internal state of happiness.
My website is aimed at helping you achieve this state. My task is to rescue you from despondency, anxiety, boredom, apathy, laziness, angst, uncertainty of tomorrow.
My articles are focused on the development of the best human qualities, personality intrinsic properties, not only its trappings.
Principle 2 – Happiness Is An Internal State
Happiness depends more strongly on your inner state, than on external things. It depends on reality perception, worldview, health condition, moral qualities and set goals.
It does not depend much on money, on the country you live in, on view from the window of your room or on your car cost. Undoubtedly, happiness is associated with some material benefits, but not as much as many are used to consider.
When a person found his inner happiness, the trappings’ achievement of the very happiness becomes easier. In other words, happy people achieve financial and social success much easier, than whiners.
This leads to a very optimistic conclusion. Once happiness depends on our inner state, it means that after refining ourselves, we can achieve happiness. After all, changing the internal reality is much simpler, than changing the external one.
No, I do not preach solipsism nor passing into nirvana. I do not call for escaping the external world and creating a cozy little world inside you. I just want you to find the source of happiness, first of all, in yourself, rather than searching it convulsionary everywhere outside your self.
Principle 3 – Happiness Can Be Achieved
Happiness is not an abstract idea. It is a state, which can be achieved by refining yourself.
Principle 4 – Being Happy Is More Difficult, Than Being Unhappy
Suffering does not make you unique and special. Being sad is much easier, than being happy. The first one demands you no effort, while the second one involves refining yourself.
Principle 5 – Our Problem Causes Lie In Ourselves
This principle, in part, repeats and completes the principle related to the fact that happiness depends on ourselves. However, this is applied not to happiness itself, but to human problems.
Many human problems are not connected with the properties of external reality, but with its perception of this reality.
Not all the problems can be solved by a simple change of environment, change of love partners and purchase of something new. These things can only mask the problem. But you will have to change something inside yourself in order to solve it.
Principle 6 – Passions Lead To Suffering
I am not a representative of any religion. I do not believe in God. But I agree with some religious doctrines that destructive desires, passions, such as envy, pride, lust, lust for power, cruelty, anger – are harmful to humans and lead to suffering, dependency and lack of freedom.
Many people think that being angry and experiencing vanity – is a normal and natural thing. I do not classify myself to these people. I am sure that passions enslave the human, deprive him of will and sober mind and, eventually, make him unhappy.
It is more difficult to be happy, than to be unhappy. Being kind, compassionate, tolerant, strong-willed and courageous is more difficult, than being cowardly, envious, vain, lazy and angry.
Strength, diligence and discipline are required in order to develop positive qualities in yourself. Bad qualities require nothing. Once you leave personality up to chance, give it to primitive desires, succumb to fate, to fashion, to imposed opinion and to external circumstances, weaken your will and leave your mind, – personality itself strain after vice, lack of freedom and suffering.
How do I divide the good and bad qualities? Very simple! Good qualities are such qualities, which development leads to happiness and freedom. Bad qualities, negative emotions, passions and vices are pulling us to suffering and slavery.
Moreover, I think that:
Principle 7 – Negative Emotions Can Be Eliminated
Many people will say: “Without black there is no white, negative emotions are a part of us. If we get rid of negative emotions, then we cannot experience positive feelings!”
It sounds very convincing in theory, and I would have believed this statement, if my experience did not prove the contrary.
Since I started being engaged in my personal development, I began to experience less unpleasant emotions and more positive ones. I do not wear rose-colored glasses, I simply became less susceptible to stress and other people’s negative influence. I pay more attention to the good aspects of life, not to the bad ones. I am always in high spirits and I feel great!
I believe that destructive passions are not a part of our true self. These emotions can be controlled. It is possible to get rid of them as well.
Principle 8 – Man Is Responsible For What He Is
Each personality chooses the way of its development. Namely man is mainly guilty for being miserable, ignorant, lazy and unsuccessful, – not his parents, his country nor his surroundings.
Taking full responsibility for yourself is an act of courage. But someone may find it desperate, because, at first glance, it leads to endless self-accusation.
No, taking responsibility for yourself does not mean that you should constantly berate yourself for all your failures and dwell in despondency because of your own imperfection.
Stop placing all the blame on external circumstances and other people. This means that you have to realize that:
Principle 9 – Man Can Change Himself
If we are responsible for whom we are, then, we can independently determine our development, instead of abandoning it to the whims of fate!
The life-affirming and inspiring idea of personal freedom is displayed from a little harsh, at first glance, concept of personal responsibility!
We can change ourselves, in spite of the inherent features!
I think that the opinion about the innate predetermination of our character is too exaggerated. Every man is really born with some given set of parameters, but these parameters do not determine his development as much as many people used to think.
There are no lazy, ambitious and emotional people by nature. The majority of personal qualities are formed during lifetime. Many properties of our personality, which we consider innate, in fact, are just habits that each of us can break, if we use enough efforts.
We all are not perfect, but each of us can change himself and become better. I believe that every person, regardless of his innate characteristics, has potential for personal development.
For more details, read the article “Is It Possible to Change Your Personality“.
Principle 10 – Personal Development Is Difficult
My website is not a collection of ready-made ideas, which can help you find your desirable happiness and freedom once you have learned them. Personal development – is not easy. It involves a lot of done work and practice. Anyone, who offers you a quick way to achieve harmony, is likely a charlatan.
There are no fast ways to self-improvement. The way of personal development – is a constant work and struggle. In this struggle, you will often gain defeats. Changes will not come overnight.
I can help you dismantle stereotypes that hinder your development. I can suggest you the right things and teach you some effective practices.
I give you an initial push, but the rest work shall be done by you. I cannot make you do something; I cannot guarantee that everything will be easy. Many things depend namely on you.
These principles are the basis of all my reasonings and thoughts presented on this blog in the form of articles. They can be summarized in the following formulation. The personal development purpose – is individual and general happiness. Our happiness and unhappiness depend namely on us. We decide whether we are happy or unhappy, smart or stupid, lazy or disciplined. We have the freedom to make ourselves the ones, we want to be.
These principles define the general guidelines. Reading the articles in my blog, you will be able to find the answers to such questions as: How to achieve happiness? What is refining yourself? How to develop your best qualities? How to get rid of suffering?
At the moment, there are not so many articles. The majority of my articles exist now only in Russian, on the Russian version of the website. I translate these articles with the help of the translator.
Wait for new publications; they will surely appear in English as well. I plan to develop the English blog nperov.com and I hope that it will become as popular as its Russian analogue!
Yoy can read my aricles in any order or you can start my personal development program.
This content was originally published here.